It's christmas eve!

i would just like to say..

Thanks for everything.

Merry christmas!! :)

Don't set goals, it will burry greater possibilities within you.

Make sense? :) BY ME!

This is a story, that is important for some, and of course for myself.

It is good to hold on to something that is not to be meant, the determination for that is ignorant but impressive. Why said so? Because i was one of those ignorant selfish person.

Everyone faced problems and obligations in life, i'm no exception.

There was a girl, that came into my life when we were 18 and from that moment everything changed. My motivation, studies, perspectives, feelings, personality and everything else, everything around me seemed so great and i was living in a dream literally. We had coffee, conversations, moments and a lil bit more, but when there was a dream, nightmare strikes.

When i said she changed my life, she really did. Positive and negative ways.

Positive was, i found someone to talk to, share my problems and rely all of my feelings on her.

The other side? Envies, depressions, selfishness, drowning emotions crawled in. I started did things that only fools would do, trembled in darkness with negative perceptions, aggressive in controlling her life. Everything changed, again. She ignored, denied, avoided everything i said and refused every way that i can get to her. By time, the situation got worst and eventually, she had enough of my overwhelming emotions.

Well of course i got mad and all the anger gathered up. Am i that bad? I threw in all my feelings, effort, time for her, and this is what i get at the end of the day? i asked myself. I can't really give an answer regarding that question by that time. Everyday i woke up with a blue mood, not bothered to talk a word more. Overreacted when things got worst, blamed everyone else and myself for just a simple mistake. It's not strange, since i was still holding on to her, not letting her go, i believed that she will listen to me and maybe i might still stand a chance. I wasn't there to realize that I'm just a useless guy that letting myself drowned deeper and deeper than yesterday. I'm lost.

After some time, when pain and depression was a part of my life, i started to wandered around the city alone in the late nights, the emotions chilled down by time and i thought of making a change in myself maybe could get back to her. I looked back to the past and from there, i slowly learnt from my mistakes that i committed, i changed everything that she didn't like.

The hardest part in life, for me, was definitely the changing process. Nearly took me one whole year to changed, and the most solid part was mindset, as in the way i think.

Took my life seriously and positively, had my own life and became more socialized and confident. Still, i'm holding on to her, all those while.

When i came to knew, it was the last semester in college and i didn't get my chance to get near to her yet, until one fine afternoon. I was gaming with james and jeremy, my housemates back in penang and suddenly my phone received a message from an unknown number, ironic. After the game i looked through the message and came to noticed that the unknown number was the number that i couldn't ever forget. It was her. She wanted us to be friends again. For that very moment, i didn't know what i thought and how i felt. it was unforgettable, till now it still is.

With hopes high, i planned to present the fresh new me to her and just start all over.

But by the time i knew, she was in a relationship already. I was one step too late, again.

This time, instead of getting frustrated and all emotional, i felt that i was blessed because of the reason that finally there was an ending to this story, and i truly lived life. I learnt more than i could possibly imagine from the start. It was worth is, the journey was enjoyable.

I can now answer that question i asked myself back then, am i that bad?

The answer is yes, i WAS bad, selfish, ignorant, annoying, overwhelming.

Now? i'm living life to the fullest, treating myself good and become a guy that more than i could ever be, i guess i'm awesome? :)

Although i didn't have the chance to know her more, but who knows right?

I wrote this down just to remind everyone that who read this should really hold on to the things and person you really loved that deep, and don't be afraid of losing it, because holding on makes you learn more towards everything.

Also appreciate everything and everyone around, don't make foolish mistakes and just take some time to be a better person, it is not expensive. Let time prove that you are worth holding on.

遇见了一些人，

被在乎的人遗忘的，

被忽略的，

伤害的，

把自己弄迷失的，

后悔的,

无助的，伤感的，等。

别怕，只要还活着，一切都是值得的。

被他人遗忘的，至少回忆是真的，品尝过的甜也是真的。

被忽略的，要知道最好的都是压轴后才被发现的，急不来。

被伤害的，要明白这就是人生呀，至少有空前让我们成长，变成更好的人。

把自己弄丢的，外面的世界很大，总有一天在某个角落你会找到想要的自己。

后悔的，前路漫长，一点一滴的弥补回错过的，不迟。

无助的，让自己静一静，前方总会有个港口让你依赖，别放弃。

伤感的，要感谢他人曾经在过去在你旅程中点起灿烂的烟火，和不可思议的感动。

继续走，继续走。

别沮丧，别回首。

未来的每一步一脚印，

不管有多淡，多痛，

都会是获得的。

人聚，人散

在人海中不算稀罕

问谁的天空未被割伤

留下云朵牵绊的遗憾

你收回了感性

不让一丝的杂音，耽误你的旅行

而我却只能收拾，模糊了一半的回忆

和一个抹不去的

姓名

曾对爱好奇

被时间过滤

剩下茫然的

对爱怀疑

我不勇敢

“普通朋友”，单纯的表面背负着多少期盼。

沙漏里的时间，它走得没那么勇敢，

害怕时间也把期盼磨成了伤感。

你和我，不应该被污染，

但是为了什么，爱情总是变得好麻烦，

到最后，（你）...（我）逃不过曲终人散。

如今你有了他的保管，

在我日记里的每一段句子，每首歌，

变得如此平凡。

我会试着把生活中的残缺填满，

就算很艰难。

再见的前夕，向来苦与酸，

为了你的灿烂，

再苦我都不管。

对不起和谢谢你。

在我生命里留下，

那么一段。

像是秋天，落叶随风飘零，跌落脚边慢慢盘旋，

潜意识里浮现了一面收悉的侧脸，为这场叶雨加上了一点甘甜，

风也把风铃吹醒，小心的吹出轻盈的思念，

不知道风会将思念吹到谁的身边，

记忆里的笑容，我一定还能看见，

你和我，

这么单调的和玄，我却毫不知觉的眷恋。

The few things on my mind rite now.

Hey guys i decided to update my blog, like now -_-

It will be a random and a quick post just to keep myself updated .

Have you ever felt so darn lucky before?

For instance, unpredictability meting someone in your life,

and that someone made you realized that, you'r so lucky to have them.

Had you?

If yes, congrats that you truly love someone, and stay lucky as long as possible k?

:)

It's been raining all these while, and disasters are hitting all around the globe, again.

Hmm, as usual we pray and hope for a better tomorrow for everyone.

Everyone should really start learning how to appreciate their life, cause nobody promises tomorrow.

Take care and happy holidays people!

Words and feelings

Recently i listened to this song titled "What are words" by Chris Medina.

Highly recommended by me, this song really tells alot. Maybe it's so touching and nice because it's related to the singer's real life. For those who don't know, you can simply google the name of this singer, and please take a look and read through his story.

It's glad to know that someone like that still exist, in this corrupted society. And also thanks to the producer who found him and give him this opportunity, and let us heard this amazing voice after he's been eliminated on American Idol.

Please please please, look up the lyrics of this song, also the emotions pouring in.

Overall, i hope you guys can give in some time and listen to this.

"What are words if you really don't mean them when you say them?"

记得吗？

一个人，走到哪里才算远

回忆一天一天的淡忘，忘到什么时候才会变成尘埃

一个人，累到什么程度才算疲倦

走在海边，只能尝到和泪水一样的咸

这种感觉，你还记得吗？

Goodbye, past.

Hey readers! First of all, a big happy new year to everyone, it's 2011!

Indeed i had a great night yesterday, not my best but, who cares anyway :)

Spent the evening at Paradise beach with a bunch of middle school friends, good to see them in one piece.

I sat by the beach, looking towards the coast line.

Randomly, it brought me back to the last time i came here, and recalled the reason of it.

Ahh screw the drama, back to work by preparing for the BBQ party for later.

Skip the makan part, only the same old BBQ routine.

I wandered around in the dark,

wondering how would it be if you are around.

It's the last day of the year after all, i bet everyone hope and wish to spend it with someone who really meant alot to them , yes?

...

When it's nearly twelve, the crowd gets excited and ready for countdown!

Same old routine again with the five, four, three, and bla bla bla.

It's finally 2011, fireworks took their chances and sparkled up the night,

i looked up into the sky, wishing someone a happy new year.

Went back to the suite, did not sleep cause of insufficient space in the suite,

me and some of the other victims talk about life after graduation,

things we gonna do, things we unexpected and people we met.

Had a great talk though :/.

It's dawn when i noticed, out the window.

Let the first light in the sky, put up an end for "i miss you".